Whoever said life is stranger than fiction sure wasn't barking up the wrong tree. From Alice Rodger's alien babies, to Uncle Homer's raw onion cure, and Elsie Carter's ghosts floating around in someone's borrowed unmentionables, our Waytown citizens got more strange than you can shake a stick at. Now I reckon some uppity folk might call the sharing of these stores gossip, but they'd be wrong. I'm just providing a community service by preserving the local history -- and there's a heap of history begging for preservation.
What did you say about what goes through your mind about getting older? Do you contest it? "I don't want to get gray hairs?" Do you bring it on? "These days will be splendid!" When you think about the aging progression, does it make you honored to have survived this long? It's time to rejoice senior hood, let's go boogying! Don't decide on reaching the rest of your life well conserved. In I'ts place, jump in sideways with that little black dress, fitting you or not, then let it all out, with enthusiasm voicing out, I made it to the top!
Stained Clothesby Juan Manuel Rodríguez Caamaño(Universidad de Sotavento) Price verified 7 hours ago
In a true love story even the simplest things are relevant to a couple. This is one of the frist stories written bye the author and where the special details are manifested so that love can be reunited for years despite obstacles.
Three Teeth and a Toenail is a collection of events in the life of the author and her family. While most people live through such things and don't care to reflect on them, Elaine sees the humor in almost everything.
This is the book family and friends have been waiting for her to write. Those who enjoy her humorous speeches as well as anyone who loves good, clean humor will want this enjoyable read.
The quiz book that puts everyone on a level playing field.
Dive into weird & wonderful quiz topics, that no-one should be an expert on! You will find out who has the dirtiest mind, the craziest and the most random.
100 questions | 10 topics
1. The Land of the Dead
2. Murder, Murder, Murder
3. Old Skool Games
4. Bald People
5. Special Celebrity Moments
7. Sweets n Treats
8. Drugs and more Drugs
9. Sex Fetishes
10. This Quiz is Gay
This is the strangest quiz book going, to get you through the strangest of times...
Ten Dollar Silver Certificate from 1939 turn up at the Gypsy Kitchen, a wine and cheese emporium in Quincy. Nelson tries to solve the mystery and uncovers what might have been espionage on WWII. Teaming up with Jasmine, a 200+ pound bounty hunter, they have an exciting and sometimes humorous adventure when they get crosswise from Vinnie, a collection man for a protection racket.
This novella is not a comedy but is a whimsical piece, fashioned to produce smiles from beginning to end. Upon his retirement, a not so nice accountant who feels his boss has put upon him and cheated him for 27 years, takes steps to correct things. That requires he must change his identity. Changing his identity requires that he must change that identity - and so on and so on. Upshot is the necessity for nearly a dozen, plot modifying, twists and turns as the story winds its way toward its unpredictable conclusion. There is suspense, mystery, humor and a few incidental little bludgeoning's. The reader my want to keep a score card. On one level the writing is just lots of fun. On another - let several reviewers handle that: "A fascinating exploration of the psyche of an amoral egotist." "A rare presentation of fear and anxiety at work within the mind of a man without conscious." "Flawlessly constructed." "Smiled 'til I thought my cheeks would burst."
Cities tend to be glamorized by movies and Instagram pictures, but the truth is it's harder to live in urban areas than expected. Stepping out onto the urine-soaked streets of San Francisco can be overwhelming, especially if you're a slightly overweight, single, small-town girl.
In order to cover the cost of over-priced city rent, twenty-three-year-old Mallory Bates is forced to do the responsible thing and ask a complete stranger to move in with her. Kaden Covington, her supposed Southern belle roommate, turns out to be a he rather than the she Mallory expected. Mallory has always been lacking in the boyfriend department, so she's naïve to the signs of a budding relationship with Kaden until it's too late to turn off the emotions.
On top of an unconventional living situation, Mallory's first client at her PR firm, Rachel Hines, is a demanding nightmare.
Follow Mallory's journey as she navigates through the tough "firsts" as an adult.
*Fantasy Short Story!
All fans of Disney's Aladdin from 1992 know for certain... There are three things that a Genie CANNOT grant. ONE - No wishing for more wishes. TWO - No raising the dead. THREE - No making someone else fall in love with you.
Have you ever noticed that Genie did not say that he COULD NOT grant those wishes? In fact, his whole demeanor strongly suggested that Genie had granted those three types of wishes in the past to his former masters. Obviously the easy riches and supernatural acts caused the recipients to produce short-lived lives. Thus the phenomenal life of the wish granter was more like an angel of death.
This is the story of a very different genie...
Are you interested in learning about one of the most famous late light television hosts of all time?
John William Carson, better known as Johnny, was born October 23, 1925. His parents, Homer Carson, worked as a power company manager and his mom, Ruth Carson, took care of Johnny. He was born in Corning, Iowa, but the family would relocate to Avoca and Red Oak in the southwest portion of the area to raise Johnny. They decided to move to Norfolk, Nebraska when Johnny was eight years of age. He was always a young man who was charismatic and charming, and making people laugh seemed to be what he did the best. He was a born talent, and when he was 12 he proved this with the purchase of his mail order magician kit he had discovered when looking through a magazine at a friend's house. The kit helped teach Johnny many tricks, and two years later, he would perform his show for others, earning a cool $3 for his gig.
In 1943 Carson signed up with the U.S. navy. While enlisted he received V12 ...
Jacko said... "Occasionally, in life, you come across a person with a personality the size of Australia; the turning circle of a super tanker; the mathematical prowess of a lump of wood, and an unbridled joy for life. Read on... you've found him."
Chas said... "Having been brought up on a diet of Oscar I find these stories comforting, funny and above all else true. He's a memorable character who has impacted on the lives of his friends like the meteorite that wiped out the dinosaurs... obliteration first, questions after."
Nick said... "Passion; above all else passion; it's the most important ingredient in his makeup... OK, passion and superhuman bowels."
Merlin said... "If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked; 'Do you know what you're doing Oscar?' I'd be minted".
Richey Rich said... "A laugh to wake the dead; as stable as a one legged table; as delicate as a concrete bollard; the looks of Eric Cantona, and the ability to surprise absolutely. He's quite a ...
The truth always prevails - with some exceptions...
When esteemed lawyer Hannah Makepeace and her four-year-old son move into a former smugglers' hideaway, little do they know that their lives will become entwined in events that happened at Pebble Cove over a century ago.
Tobias Finchinglake is Hannah's first client when she returns to Truelove Hills from Dubai. He has no idea how their connection will lead to unravelling a mystery surrounding his ancestry that has plagued him all his life.
Secrets are uncovered at Chateau Amore de Pebblio, Sonning Hall and Finchinglake Vineyard. Hannah's grandfather knows more than most. Will Arthur Makepeace reveal the missing piece of the jigsaw? Or will he keep the biggest secret of his life?
Every student has a story...
But you won't find it here.
Dark, profane, and absurd, this comedy follows the journey of a young teacher on a misguided adventure to resurrect dead dreams. After being let go from his first school, the nameless narrator finds himself at a tough urban high school ready to quit. He decides that the only way to rekindle his passion for teaching is through his favorite novel. It's a decision that leads him on an unsuspecting journey where he discovers that teaching a book about monsters means dealing with his own first.
The story exposes the importance of friendship and the truth behind what it means to be a teacher. Based on real events, the novel parallels Mary Shelley's 1818 classic, Frankenstein, and shows that 200 years later, humanity still struggles to identify the real monsters.
It's a must-read for aspiring educators, teachers, and those struggling with adulting.
Close to being evicted, this Surfer's Paradise Meter Maid needs money, and fast. Lucky for her, he's rolling in it. Not so lucky is the homicidal blonde he's married to doesn't like sharing.
Brenda's life isn't easy. Growing up with parents who were as larcenous as they were stupid, she spent her childhood fending for herself and life hasn't changed a whole lot since.
Currently without a man gullible enough to fund her lifestyle she's one step away from living on the streets, and it's this that sees her walking the streets as a Surfer's Paradise Meter Maid. The upside of the job is that the gold lamé bikini she wears as a uniform attracts men like moths to a flame.
Enter Hilton Taylor, man about town, seemingly rich and definitely gullible. Unfortunately she hasn't even managed to 'top up his meter' when she runs into his wife. Whether it's the pills Hilton's wife pops, or the alcohol she washes them down with, she's Brenda's worst nightmare; and one that could prove ...
Humans have been at war with the Irians for twelve years.
With heavy casualties and depleted resources on both sides, opposing military leaders come up with a novel solution.
It is agreed that the newly-discovered Alpha Centauri system will be fought virtually, inside a dynamic role-playing game.
Using cutting-edge Immersion technology, human and Irian engineers unite to design the game. The rules are simple: two armies of 100 pixel runners will compete for each of the three habitable planets in the Alpha Centauri system.
The species with the most victories will be permitted to colonize the system for real, putting them in a strong position to win the war.
For Major John Talbot, chosen leader of the human virtual army, the chance to play such an amazingly detailed game is a dream come true.
The price of failure, however, doesn't bear thinking about...
VIRTUAL WAR: ALPHA CENTAURI is the first in an exciting series of LitRPG novels.
Prepare to have greatness thrust upon you. At last England's King Henry VIII has written, Unleash Your Inner Tudor, his inspirational guide to life. After reading this landmark volume, no one will ever need any advice about life improvement again because all will have been completely answered - dating, marriage, sex, leadership, religion, parenting, and managing mood with binge eating. Eventually this book will, without doubt, be re-classified as "spirituality" (sub-classification "Superhero Erotica") and probably replace The Bible in importance.
Weaving stories of his legendary life along with all the rich wisdom and really deep insight that he's gained over the past 500 years, Henry VIII puts success at the highest levels within the grasp of even peasants and ladies.
Very different siblings, a philandering neighbour, and a professor of biology-turned evangelical fundamentalist combine for a black farce of the mundane and the absurd. Spanning four decades, and set against the backdrop of the East London docklands, 'Wilberforce & Grace' is a bleak-yet-comical celebration of life's ordinariness - regularly punctuated with strange and bizarre events.
Baked! is a love story with a twist - it's about cakes. We've all read stories about people falling in love, but how many people have read a story about a love affair between two foods? Surreal, silly and very sweet, Baked! is a 4,000 word short story set in a Scottish bakery that will have you reaching for that second cake, so the first one you ate doesn't get lonely. Go on, have another...
Baked! reached number 1 in the German and French Amazon stores' English language short story free download charts in August 2012.
Over 150,000 copies downloaded!
**Amazon Best Selling Humor Author**
Lucy, a hard working shenanigan queen, finds evidence that her husband, Mason, cheated on her. In a heated moment, she throws a wine bottle at his head leaving him unable to remember anything from his past. Since she is responsible for her husband's amnesia, it is her responsibility to get his memory back. Motivated by revenge, Lucy plans a way to get Mason back to normal while having a little fun in the process. This story unveils her comical attempts to sabotage him and how he tries to win her back.
PLEASE NOTE: Although this book is part of the DERRY WOMEN SERIES, there is no cliffhanger. It is true that the characters get older as the series progresses, but each book is a complete story, and can be enjoyed without having read the previous book.
" If you have stumbled across this page and haven't read the whole series from the start, then you don't know what you are missing, drop everything, download all five books in the series and settle in for some serious laughter to help keep you warm this winter! Looking forward to the next book and still wondering why this series hasn't been scooped up for the movie rights!!!"--MarlaB, Amazon reviewer
When an armed robbery at Final Spinz, the dry cleaners where hardened matriarch Fionnuala Flood works, leads to the death of beloved pensioner Mrs. Ming, the ensuing investigation unleashes dark secrets that promise to bring Fionnuala closer to her husband Paddy, her mother Maureen, and the four children of her brood still in town. Or tear ...
A collection of humorous insights into important topics ranging from being targeted by annoying ads ("Nowhere to Hide"), to resorting to symbols when you've forgotten your words ("At a Loss for Words"), to figuring out what door that extra key opens ("My Extra Key"). Other essays examine how sitting is the new smoking (whatever that means), what it means to have stamina, and why it is just so hard to focus when you have the attention span of a gnat.
He once fought for his country. But does that qualify him to battle the zombie apocalypse?
Verney County, Mississippi, 1980. Vietnam vet Bucky Dennis hit rock bottom and didn't stop. Divorced, separated from his kids, and mourning the loss of his ?69 Charger, he takes odd-jobs and pisses away cheap booze. And fate kicks him in the balls again when his latest gig traps him in close quarters with a bloodthirsty werewolf...
By morning, Bucky manages to fight off the beast and is ready to obliterate the experience with more than a few drinks. But he's pretty sure his hair of the dog shouldn't come with a chaser of possessed honky-tonk piano, demented witches, and pint-sized vampires. If it's not a nasty outbreak of bad luck, it may just be the end of the world.
Can the tough-as-nails veteran kick zombies, bloodsuckers, and other supernatural sadists to kingdom come?
The Gospel of Bucky Dennis is the first scream worthy book in a Horror Comedy series. If you like zany action, ...
A collection of wonderful articles, poems, and stories by that master of comedy and complications, P. G. Wodehouse, the author of My Man Jeeves. Includes "Some Aspects of Game-Captaincy," "An Unfinished Collection," "The New Advertising," "The Secret Pleasures of Reginald," "My Battle with Drink," "In Defense of Astigmatism," "Jeeves Takes Charge," and much more!
The Yorkshire Misfit
"Personally I think happiness is highly over rated and I actually prefer the misery that life throws at you. It's more familiar to us up here in Yorkshire. We don't need happiness, just a strong cup of Builders Tea and a slap on the back and we're good to go."
City girl turned country bumpkin, Jess; is no stranger to life's ups and downs. Now in her mid thirties, and not the slightest bit concerned about settling down, she decides to go it alone in the Yorkshire Dales, working as a self employed, rural farm secretary. She can perhaps best be described as James Herriot meets Bridget Jones.
Some may call her difficult, some may call her feisty. Others may see her as a bit of a stubborn, non- conformist but Jess is ok with being all of those things. No stranger to having to walk her own path without apology you are about to take a peek through the amusing daily lens that Jess cares to call her life, set in the rugged Yorkshire Dales.
Unfortunately however the ...
"Funny, witty, intelligent... "
"I found 'Double Ex' addictive... a great read... "
A comedy about two heartsick friends who pursue lookalikes of their exes but stumble into a soul-stirring love affair.
Nick and Lucy forge an unlikely alliance after they discover their lust for dead ringers of lost loves and help each other meet eligible suitors on London's dating scene.
Trouble looms when friends and siblings grow concerned at their obsession for chasing memories, and with problems mounting around their intensifying relationship, they soon find their journey takes a heart-stopping turn.
Nick's best friend, Konrad, is nursing an aching heart of his own but befriends beleaguered celebrity Corsica Coleman following a fateful encounter that would shape their very future. Together they launch a series of high-profile events that will halt plans to develop an area of London heathland, derail a tyrannical tycoon, and alter everyone's lives beyond imagination.
Double Ex - A riotous ...
Timothy Carey's usual peepings out of his bedroom window were met, one cold and misty January morning in 1965, by a strangely arousing sight. The girl with the dark flowing hair emerged out of the fog like a legendary goddess of old. He had a vivid imagination, and this was just the sort of thing that might disturb a ten year olds sleep... and it did for the best part of a year! Timmy really could have done without her dreamtime distractions whilst trying his damndest to gain 11plus exam success and an escape from the edge of post-war poverty. As well as wading through myriads of examples of long divisions and comprehensions the little fellow had to deal with such tricky encumbrances as the dastardliest bully since Vlad the Impaler, a serial kiss-stealer and a very unwanted debut in amateur dramatics. Could he, and his almost permanently donned 'comfort balaclava', triumph and make it to Grammar School... or would his clinical level of shyness cause him to 'stay in' forever?
Are You A Game of Thrones Fan? Are You Ready To Have Some Fun?
This is the ultimate question game if you're a true Game of Thrones fan! It includes easy to very challenging questions.
It takes the most significant events and experiences from all the seasons, and it's loaded with fun questions that will keep you and your friends busy for hours!
Game of Thrones Trivia Will Keep You Busy For Long Car or Plane Rides, Sitting In Waiting Rooms, and Best of All It's A Perfect Addition For Game Night With Family & Friends!
Click on the cover to "Look Inside" and Get a Sample of the Questions.
If you purchase this today, you'll get a special link to our bestselling books ABSOLUTELY free!
To Read Immediately, Scroll Up To The Top-Right & Click The Orange "Buy now with 1-Click" Button.
Jason Rachenovich's father works for the President of the Ukraine as a computer specialist. He writes a computer program that is used by the President and a few select government officials for embezzling from the Ukrainian Treasury. When the President orders Jason's parents killed, Jason takes the laptop that has the only program access codes to these billions of dollars and flees for his life.
After Jason is beaten by a ruffian who steals his money in Volodnuyrska Hirka Park he meets Aleksiy and the two become fast friends. Aleksiy has a way with words and an odd sense of logic that brings humor into the mix at almost every turn. Sasha, a beautiful young homeless girl, finds the boys hiding out in an abandoned Russian Orthodox Church. Jason and Aleksiy befriend Sasha and the three of them become inseparable as they try to escape from Kiev.
The noose tightens as the government troops and the opposition forces pursue them. Can these three young teens with youthful invincibility, ...
"Chess Intuition Versus Calculation" is a book dedicated to all type of players which contains different theory aspects on intuition and calculation in chess, some players will lose on time and some players will lose quickly making mistakes, because they lack knowledge on intuition and calculation. This book will let you know where you stand in the game of chess and provide methods on improving yourself in chess quickly.
After reading this book, you'll be able to:
*Understand what intuition is
*Understand different types of intuition
*Understand the methods of improving your intuition
*Understand the relation between intuition and calculation
*Understand situations where intuition is better than calculation and vice versa
*Understand advantages and disadvantages in having certain type of intuition
*Understand how a calculation process should be
*Understand the difference between intuition and calculation
*Understand how to evaluate a position properly
*Understand where you're at ...
Kenny Marimee longs to find his place in this world. He would also like to have one normal date before he dies. BOY MEETS GIRL chronicles the adventures of Kenny and his offbeat friends, and their quirky, awkward relationships with females from pre-kindergarten through high school. The story is told by Kenny himself as he looks back on the hilarious, goofy, and bewildering times he shared with his friends and with girls, from the perspective of an eighteen year-old about to go away to college in 1981.
Joining Kenny on his quest is Bobby Driscoll, the well-meaning, but unlucky best friend of Kenny. There's Johnny Corcoran, the strong, intelligent boy whose Irish-Catholic guilt won't allow him much fun. There's Tony Morretoni, the public school "bad boy" who stirs up trouble. And there's Eddie, the cheapest kid ever to hit the dating scene. In a prairie behind Kenny's house, the boys build a clubhouse out of old railroad ties. It is there that they spend their days forging friendships, ...
Here is the latest from Hugo Award Finalist, Stix Hiscock! Get ready for a pounding you'll never forget, straight from the pelvic exertions of the long-necked Thunder Lizard himself!
As the very last of the dinosaurs, I, Carlton Longbone, had it made. An adoring public who threw money at me left and right. A bigass mansion. All the honeys I could ever want, that I could ever possibly get enough of. And yet, somehow, it wasn't enough.
There was always a part of me that was missing, until one day that missing part bounced into my life with her feminine mystique, her unparalleled intellect, and her lovely pair of triple D science balloons.
Mammary Jones, paleontologist and sex goddess extraordinaire.
The instant I laid eyes on her, I knew she was the love of my life. From that point onward, I knew I'd found someone to fill the absence in me, in a way that no one or nothing else ever could.
Once the two of us got together, I knew that nothing could ever separate us. ...
[ Wonderful read, amazing how universal it is that hard times and a knockout humour go hand in hand, struck a chord]
Amazon customer u.k.
Childhood is not a choice, it is a time, place and circumstance that subconsciously form our character.
Scotland, Edinburgh. 1965-1972
A young widow struggles to survive while bringing up her three kids in a household beset by poverty.
Sean tearfully confides to his sister Jean that he was dragged by his feet from his bed last night by a malevolent creature.
Jean can't control her emotions after seeing her mother with two black eyes, and screamed, 'dinnae lie to me Mammy I know it was that bastard who did it.'
Two young schoolboys after having been forced to drop their trousers beg for mercy before a barrage of stones come towards them.
Miriam, (Mammy) Donaghy screamed, 'don't you ever fucking ever hit my son' before leaping from her chair, landing on the assailant's chest and sinking her nails deep into his face.
A happy go-lucky ladies' man finds himself sitting next to the mayor of Seattle on a perfect evening in a swanky lounge. He has just returned from a year-long trip to Alaska, where he worked twelve hour days to save money, to spend on booze before using it for college. He's grown a beard and none of the women with which he had been acquainted might recognize him. And better still, none of their boyfriends or husbands or lovers who had seen him slipping away through the backyard while buttoning his trousers could sucker punch him in the kidneys, or cold-cock him on the crown as he enjoys the lounge's famous flaming drink, The skylite. It is a relaxing evening, and he thinks fondly of friends he could call that were not married or too ashamed to see him.
All is well, until a cocky bartender lights the drink.
Included in this purchase is "About The Alki Tavern", an ode to a Seattle dive bar where sex, money, wine, and beer, suspicious persons of questionable character, music, ...
This book is a selection of some of the easier tactical problems from my book "Progressive Tactics: 1002 Progressively Challenging Chess Tactics". As the "Don't Play Like Me" title implies, the selected tactics are all positions where I fell victim to one of my opponent's tactics, so they are all from real over-the-board games and are of the type that you can expect to see in your own games.
The purpose of this book is simple - it is intended to raise your rating (or just greatly improve your game if you're not a rated player). Rather than go into a lengthy explanation of why practicing tactics is so critical to improvement, I'll just tell you about my own experience.
I started playing tournament chess in the 1980's and spent about 20 years rated in the 1500-1650 range while I studied opening books, endgame books, and strategy books to no avail (you can see my rating graph here: http://main.uschess.org/datapage/ratings_graph.php?memid=12413721). Over the years I had read occasional ...
So you think you know dogs... but how well do you really know your faithful hound?
If you're looking to improve the bond between you and your furry friend, this quirky book is for you. Discover fun facts about your beloved pooch and get to know them like never before!
Several hundred years in the future, a lowly delivery robot named Glitch is tasked with safely transporting the last two humans on earth--a child and her baby brother--across the dilapidated ruins of the United States. Along the way, the trio will face a number of dangerous perils as their bond grows, and Glitch will discover that it doesn't take a human to have humanity.
Wondering where will the liberal and progressive trends that we see these days in most democratic countries take us? Where will we as human beings end up? Taken, at least in some cases, to ad absurdum, this book offers some ideas and makes some predictions that are all covered with spicy sauce of humor, black humor (no offence) and irony.
Part I of this book touches very gently and tenderly the sensitive parts of the topics like racism, sexism, religious freedom, reality shows, Chinese growing soft power in the world, our addiction to smart devices and more.
Narrated by a politician T, who is the first person ever to be brought back to life by cryonics, Bedford's Day is not recommended for people who admire and adore political correctness.
Pete Harriman is 53 and has come to a point in his life when he thinks he needs to take a different and less trodden path. Retiring after 30 years in advertising, a chance meeting with an old friend in a Midlands' pub sparks an idea that leads him to try and turn his passion for music into a fledgling band. Along the way he meets an eclectic array of characters, from a cosmetically-enhanced man-eater to an octogenarian barman, a church caretaker who seems to be a reincarnation of Rasputin and the lead singer of a band who is Cilla Black (in Hitler boots). Pete, along with his fellow band members - Brian 'Pudding' Davies, Graham 'Pipes' Piper and baby-faced Mark Simpson - embark on a 'journey' but one that bears no resemblance to that of the X Factor wannabees. Accompanied throughout by the constantly changing ringtones that represent the milestones in Pete's quest, will his dream become a reality or will it turn into a nightmare?
Six-year-old Sharon Rowling has a lot to contend with. Her gorgeous mum Maria literally stops traffic with her beauty, whilst her poor Dad Ricky is under height and underemployed. Not to mention her excruciating siblings and the mortifying fact she could be a "gypo". She opens her comical tale during the sweltering British summer of 1976 when even a World Boxing Champ finds himself on the wrong end of her crazed dad's fists. But it soon becomes clear that Sharon's embarrassing family are not the only bizarre inhabitants of the village of Widdleton. The stifling weather is getting the better of all of them...
This book should appeal to all readers wishing to zone out from modern day life and drift back to an era when cappuccino was just a colour and FreeView meant staring out the window. Come and spend a comical summer amongst the villagers of Widdleton as they learn some tough lessons in self-acceptance and little Sharon finally discovers how to overcome her fledgling prejudices.
Growing up in a big, not-so-fat, semi-Greek household, Ekaterina Botziou spent much of her childhood defying her father's wishes for her to learn to play the bouzouki, and refusing third helpings of moussaka. Determined never to be the stereotypical Greek woman stuck in the kitchen, she chose to while away long summer days in Greece playing "What's the time Mr Wolf?" with her 101 Greek cousins, rather than be stuck inside learning to cook with Yiayia. Unfortunately Zeus had other ideas, and in a twist of fate some years later, Ekaterina found herself married to a Greek-Cypriot and battling against the stale old laws of Greek tradition.
Part memoir, part rant, part survival guide, this book is a God-send for all those tormented by guilt-inducing mother-in-laws, pandofla-wielding grandfathers, and oppressively hairy husbands.
They say everyone has a novel in them. Luca had five, until they were stolen from him.
"Actually laughed out loud, then felt slightly guilty for doing so, as this is a macabre , hilarious story with a truly twisted ending. Punchline hits the spot."
"A hilarious read that kept me turning the pages with an unexpected twist at the end. A must read for those who enjoy an unusual comedic take on the thriller genre."
Luca Pope would normally be pleased to see his novels on bookstore shelves, especially if it were his name on the covers. Five novels bearing five different author names, and he has no idea how it happened.
Unemployed and with nothing better to do than to entertain thoughts of violent retribution, Luca sets out to track down and corner the plagiarists, to extract answers and confessions - if they'd just stay alive long enough to oblige. Urged on by a sense of righteous outrage and an inner voice named Hodges, Luca departs his career of salaried apathy to pursue the life ...
How could anybody steal a dog like Gizmo... ?
When petty criminals 'Flash Harry' Smith and Jack ('The Lad') Jones start nicking dogs, they soon realise they've bitten off more than they can chew...
Their victim, Elizabeth Parker-Smyth, is a high-flying movie producer with a Grand Design of a house and a designer dog to match. Their hostages, Gizmo and Doodle, are the co-stars of her next film: 'Nobody's Poodle'. Their nemesis, Annie Capello, is a quirky, big-hearted pet detective, who tracks the dognappers through cyberspace and finds herself entangled in their shenanigans.
Then there are the two pairs of star-crossed lovers. One couple may be human and the other canine, but they share similar memories of a whirlwind romance: "We'll always have Stoke Newington."
SOMEBODY'S DOODLE is a fast-moving, heady mix of crime, humour, romance, and some wooftastic dogs. As it races towards the climax, the human protagonists search for truth and reconciliation and glimpse what we can all ...
Sara found a gun under the floor. That's where it all started to go wrong.
"READ THIS BOOK IMMEDIATELY!!!"
"He can go from hysterically funny to deeply poignant in a few words"
"I can officially say, now, that P.A Fenton is one of my new favourite authors"
Zak and Sara discover a hidden room adjoining the cellar of their house. The room contains a large supply of opium resin, four crates of World War Two machine pistols, and a decapitated corpse in a bath-tub. They've both recently lost their jobs and are struggling to pay their bills, so they attempt to profit from their discovery... just until the economy picks up again, of course.
They're not the only ones interested in what else is under the floor of the house in this black comedy.
The New Regulation means guaranteed jobs for life. Not an easy environment for making layoffs, unless you try to manipulate the life variable.
Chloe Bright has some problems: her comatose ex-fiancé seems to be abusing her by phone from his hospital bed in New York, which is impossible; she has picked up a stalker in London, a girl who copies her outfits and styles to the smallest detail, which also seems impossible; and her job at The Company appears to be under threat, which would also be impossible if it weren't for the radical headcount-cutting measures being employed by the new efficiency consultant, Lyndon Cutter. Colleagues turn against one another in a survival-of-the-fittest contest, and the man pulling the strings doesn't mind who gets cut down in the name of natural deselection.
Chloe has to walk the fine line between keeping her job in an economy where jobs are hard to find, and the seedy and deceitful world of Lyndon Cutter... provided she's not murdered by her abusive ...
A sex contract seemed like a good idea, until she fell in love.
When Symone Esquire fails to woo her best friend into taking her virginity, his rejection is the catalyst that inspires her to create a sex contract with a local legend, a man nicknamed "The Cherry Popper", to take her virginity instead.
Sid Cooperton is used to being solicited for sex, being the lead singer of a local rock band does have its perks... but when the nerdy, yet intriguing, Symone approaches him with a proposition to take her virginity in exchange for his college tutoring. It's simply an offer he can't refuse -- even if his reputation for being a virginity exterminator is grossly exaggerated.
Symone wasn't expecting anything more than a business relationship with Sid, but she soon realizes there's so much more to her sex tutor than just sex. Matters become even more complicated when her once uninterested best friend, suddenly wants to take their relationship to the next level like she always wanted.
"The best books are those in which the characters come alive before your eyes" Telegraph & Argos
'I've never read a story quite like this, but it was such fun I consumed it in one sitting. As we are introduced to the well observed, larger than life characters I felt I was watching a very British sit-com. We have Bradford, a corner shop, wacky characters, shopping at Primani, a knickerless caravan dweller, dozens of shoes and plenty of booze' Amazon Review
A corner shop, a lottery machine and a bamboo bike... Shaz and Trace balance spreadsheets by day, but by night drink vodka and dance with their crazy Aunt Sheila in the magical wardrobe.
As the country is hit with Brexit fever, mother has her bags packed in case she gets deported whilst gossiping with the likes of Tattoo Tony, Mad Mush Martha and Dammit Janet.
Shaz is doing her best to avoid the creepy centre-parted Rajeev and his pet goat. However, her sister Trace is drawn to the charms of the lovely Channing Chopra who is from ...
A sociopathic bounty hunter prowls the streets of a sweaty, sleazy neon metropolis in search of his next kill.
No amount of cybernetic augs and implants can satisfy his darkening desires.
Stylish cyberpunk thriller and fearless meditation on what it means to be human, BRUTALE marries lust and violence in a dazzling near-future cocktail.
STEVEN J SHELLEY writes cyberpunk and science fiction.
Calgary is a big cosmopolitan city now. It continues growing away from its history of a western frontier town.
Yet, the world is still a small place as stories of gangsters, drunk doctors, police officers, demolitions experts, a poetry reading group, two young boys, and Loch Ness will all collide in the unlikeliest of ways. All this during one of Calgary's unpredictable winters... but wait five minutes, it might change.
Oh, and the gangster's mother. She would be rather upset if she were not mentioned.
No dinosaurs were harmed in the writing of these stories.
This is a collection of stories from the first edition of the Childress Children Books Series. Best selling author Geryn Childress has a very unique way of telling stories that kids around the world find fascinating, entertaining, and down right funny. His books are classics that will be enjoyed by your kids for many years to come.
This Christmas Book is a wonderful Christmas story your kids are sure to love. It's written and illustrated in old school style so your child can have the same experience you had as a child watching the classic 'Rudolph The Red Noise Reindeer" cuddled around the television with your family. This book will give your child that same feeling.
Ditch your douchebag profile and nab some great tips to help you become a "Power Tinderer".
This no-nonsense guide is written by a woman and designed to help men up their Tinder game. It's full of foul language and straight talk, so if this kind of thing scares you, then you may want to step out of the tiger ring of fire! But if you want to improve the quantity and quality of matches, step inside... It's warm here.
This is my first book. It chronicles the progress of me, my wife, Laura, and our pets, from a luxurious and complicated, stress-laden life in the city of Glasgow, Scotland to our new home in the depths of rural New Zealand.
I trained and worked as a dentist in Scotland and, as the book begins, I am in the process of coming to terms with the notion that our life is too expensive and the stresses too immediate for our continuing sanity. We decide to sell everything we own and move to a more pastoral life elsewhere.
The decision made, and the destination for our new life chosen almost at random, the location moves swiftly to our new home in the subtropical far north of New Zealand, where, with a combination of determination, hard work and a healthy dose of naivety, our new life develops.
Gradually, we make new friends and acquaintances, meet some very unusual and interesting characters, and grow to love the once unfamiliar surroundings, until we can truly call our tiny farm a ...
Derek travels from child to confused adult, from reporter for the local paper to any job available, doing everything he thinks he should, but doing it his way. Pursuing life and employment leads Derek to fling himself into the sort of sticky situations he won't want to have to explain to his friends or his family. With determination, gritting his teeth, doing everything for the best, how could anything go wrong. Current titles by Mac Black Please... Call me Derek Derek's in Trouble and coming soon - Derek's Revenge
I, like most people on the planet, have become a great fan of social media and in particular, Facebook. During the last six months I have been posting daily. Firstly, it was 'Words of Wisdom' and then I moved on to 'Life is... ' Some of my thoughts were philosophical, others humorous. Sometimes I added photographs and emojis or I dedicated certain sayings to individual people. On a couple of occasions I even added a short story telling the inspiration behind the quotation, for example... 'Life is about turning left instead of right and having an adventure!'
I noticed that I was getting a lot of those 'like' clicks and friends seemed to be enjoying my humble daily offering. I had an idea... put all of my posts into a short book and publish them. I have placed one of the 'Words of Wisdom' each page and the' Life is... ' quotations follow with some illustrations, either photographs from my albums or downloads from the Net under creative commons licence. All the acknowledgements may be ...
The Most Ridiculous Coffee Table Photo Book About Bread and a Beautiful Woman
Beyond Bread will make you think about bread in a whole new way.
Welcome to the high fashion world of bread.
Anything can be sexy and fashionable. Even the bread you eat everyday.
Why should watches and handbags be glamorized by product catalogs and fashion magazines while bread is neglected? It's time to give bread the respect it deserves.
Beyond Bread will make you desire bread for its material appeal, not for its flavor and certainly not for its nutritional value. Beyond Bread also takes a scientific look at bread, giving you the data you never needed or wanted to know. This is a ridiculous, but humorous, book that nobody needs.
Bread should be Sexy!
What is Beyond Bread all about?
Have you ever flipped through a watch catalog? How about a catalog for Italian designer handbags? If you look at these catalogs and open your eyes you will see how ludicrous they are. The models are entirely too sexy and ...
Be careful what you wish for. This morning I wished everyone would just disappear so I could get some peace and quiet. Now here I am, bobbing around in an empty ocean trying to remember how long a human being can live without water. Caution: contains swearing, bad singing, self-pity and bodily functions.
Discover the great sense of humour of the French language! French like you've never learnt it at school!
The French do speak a funny language indeed! Funnily enough they don't even know it!
What do you think they mean when they say: 'Did you casserole her/him last night?' or 'He farts in silken sheets!'?
You do not need to know any French to enjoy this book as the 120+ very typical phrases contained in the book are translated literally into English and introduced in context through five hilarious anecdotes (all in English too), depicting two young Frenchies' first trip to England. A glossary in both languages is also provided after each story to further assist you into guessing and enjoying the meaning of these handpicked expressions.
This book is aimed at any adult reader with a good sense of humour and/or an interest in the French language and culture. The perfect gift book! Also available in a bumper version (with 150+ phrases and a fun quiz) 'In France eat sofas! Bumper ...
Vol 2 is packed with entertaining stories.
These sixty short stories transport you from steampunk cities to Aztec treasure, from scientific discoveries to new inventions, from a child' painful logic to a dragon's wisdom.
Expect the unexpected, these tales are entertaining to the very last word
Who wants to go on holiday when they are ill in bed? Kitty Finch does not so she does her best to get out of the annual family holiday but no, her parents are having none of it so she is going to Turkey whether she likes it or not. Since they will probably kidnap her if, she does not comply and come willingly while she never imagined part of that sentence actually coming true on this trip. Anyway, they are soon off to the airport where her nightmares begin and not for the only time on this holiday does Kitty wish that she had stayed in bed and had not bothered getting up. Not that she wants to appear ungrateful about going on a five-day all-inclusive package holiday in the sun during the school half-term in October, it is just that she will be face-to-face with her ex-husband who she hasn't seen since the wedding fiasco and the less said about that the better.
Anyhow, things start looking up for Kitty when a new man comes into play but it also sees Kitty trying to avoid trouble she ...
If you're looking for a short, easy-to-read guide that will fully prepare you to hit the blackjack table, then this book is for you!
Today only, get this incredibly useful guide for only $2.99. Regularly priced at $4.99. Read on your PC, Mac, smart phone, tablet or Kindle device.
For most people, learning the basics of Blackjack is not difficult. Things don't really become complicated until the actual experience of walking into a casino, sitting down at a table, and abiding by the house rules and expectations. As an unprepared beginner at the Blackjack table, you risk catching dirty looks (or worse) from the dealer and fellow players if you're not familiar with some basic Blackjack customs. This book is designed to introduce you to the basic rules of Blackjack and acclimate you to the customs of the Blackjack table. By the end of this easy-to-follow guide, you'll feel like a seasoned blackjack player, ready to handle yourself like a pro at the casino. Let's get started!
Here Is A ...
If you do not have a whacked out sense of humor please refrain from buying this bucket full of foul-mouthed chaos. This book is a romantic comedy that is riddled with F-bombs and a variety of other colorful expletives that are sure to peel the paint off the walls. There is talk about vaginas, cockalicious peens, and a pregnant woman crazy enough to stab a fool in the neck. So, if you can handle a group of crazy, gutter-mouthed, ganja smoking best friends then, by all means, read the damn book! I guarantee you're either going to laugh 'till you pee or sit in a corner and cringe. Either way, I nailed it!
THIS BOOK IS INTENDED FOR READERS 18+ AS IT CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEX AND PROFANITY.
"Welcome to Beautiful Ink. One of these bitches will be right with you."
When Harlow Gentry re-opened the doors to Beautiful Ink with her six best friends she never would have thought that it would sustain as the hottest tattoo shop in town. Keeping up ...
Learn Killer Craps Strategy In Record Time!
So your bags are packed and you are ready to meet with all your buddies in Las Vegas, Atlantic City or any other casino you might be heading to. Maybe you are heading to sunny Florida, or the Foxwoods in Connecticut, but that really doesn't matter. What matters is that when you see your friends this year you will be a winner...
Today only, get this Amazing Amazon book for this limited time low offer price! Read on your PC, Mac, Smart Phone, Tablet or Kindle Device.
Remember last trip when you were the biggest loser of your group of friends in Vegas? This year that won't happen. Because when you learn these proven winning strategies your Craps game will undoubtedly line your pockets and have your buddies begging you to teach them your winning ways. Picture all of your friends who made fun of you last year, begging you for the answers this year.
The purpose of this book is to help you answer the age old question of how to beat the ...
Note: Will's first full length 600 page novel - "Boogie: A Devil's Life," is available now on eBook for Kindle...
"A great read... I really liked the ending."
Search Amazon.com for the title: "Boogie: A Devil's Life"
or copy and paste the following link:
It is also available in paperback...
About the Author:
Will Bevis is a prolific writer of short, sometimes very controversial "Slice of life" stories, articles, essays and memoirs that make you feel you are right there, experiencing the story as it it happens. His best known story is the Top One Hundred Free for Kindle story, "The Killing of Train-Man Brown." He has written over one hundred short stories including, "Then Her Wig Fell Off," "Let the Dog Drive," "Blackbird," "Supply and Demand," "Daddy's Playing Dead," and many, many others. Many are also available as audio books.
About "Boogie: A Life With The Devil."
This full length ...
The era of the yummy mummy has finally gone and to celebrate, Shari Low has taken a baby wipe to the glossy veneer of the school of perfect parenting with Because Mummy Said So. This collection of hilarious memories tells the truth about motherhood in all of its sleep-deprived, frazzled glory. No judgement, no impossibly high standards, no perfect day - just real life and a whole lot of chaos that every experienced, new or soon-to-be parent will relate to.
Embarrassing mistakes, disastrous summer holidays, childhood milestones, tear-jerking nativity plays, eight bouts of chickenpox and that time when a three-year-old superhero locked himself in a toilet... this is one imperfect mum's tales of the ups, downs and unforgettable moments of parenthood.
Do you love Dilbert cartoons?
Is your idea of a great read, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy?
Fans of Scott Adams and Douglas Adams are going to love Harvey Drinkwater & The Cult Of Savings.
When a loveable idiot rises to the top of a big corporation, what could go wrong? Well, as it turns out... EVERYTHING!
Harvey Drinkwater was miserable at the Zipper Emporium. He and Hilda didn't see eye to eye. Mr Dortmann thought he was an idiot. But Fate had a surprise for him. Globallica, the biggest corporation in America was building a skyscraper in Ocean City and it needed purchasing agents. His big chance had come. Harvey enters the wacky world of Globallica's Purchasing Department where logic and common sense take a back seat to a whirlwind of crazy characters, questionable ethics and executive shenanigans. Despite one madcap misadventure after another, nothing can stop Harvey's career from fast-tracking him to the top despite every gaff and fumble he makes. Can Harvey survive ...
SHORT-LISTED IN THE LICHFIELD AND DISTRICT WRITERS´ SHORT STORY COMPETITION
In an old book of Philosophy there were once five lively and naughty letters. And one day they were so bored, and the panorama around them was so gloomy, that they decided to jump out of the line in which they were imprisoned and run through the yellowing pages of the book...
A charming and original short story that will be loved by children and adults alike.
This is a book about every country in the world, most of the information are fun facts and trivia or just simple information.
This is not an encyclopedia and it includes a variety of facts about each country. Depending on the facts that could be found and are considered interesting, some countries have such a love for football/soccer, which I could not write about Uruguay without writing about the FIFA World Cup in 1950.
The compilation of facts and trivia was made after research, checking and finding what would interest most people.
This is not an useful book about about every country in the world, this is intended to be a funny and informative trivia about all countries in the world, that will make you look a person with so much knowledge that you will impress everyone.
Imagine yourself after reading this book, and saying "Did you know there is an Air Force that has a logo with a flightless bird? The logo of the Royal New Zealand Air Force is the kiwi, a flightless bird.". ...
'WARNING' - May contain some crude Scots dialect, dark, graphic humor and a couple of home truths.
Take a wee break from the project fear and smear campaigns and Gordon Brown's retirement home spiel about a divided country and how a vote to stay in the UK is a vote to stay in Europe blah, blah, blah... Why not put your feet up instead, put the kettle on, make a wee relaxing brew, and spend some good, fun, quality reading time, inside a wee Edinburgh cafe with its weird, wonderful, wacky, and just as f##ked up as the lying politicians themselves, customers and staff, during one screwed up and unforgettable crazy day - The day of the Scottish referendum.
If you enjoyed books like - Fear and Smear: The Campaign Against Scottish Independence by Pat Anderson - The Dream Shall Never Die: 100 Days that Changed Scotland Forever by Alex Salmond - Disunited Kingdom: How Westminster Won A Referendum But Lost Scotland by Iain Macwhirter - Project Fear: How an Unlikely Alliance Left a Kingdom ...
When did you last see a Chimpanzee in Dungarees, laughing at a Sexist, Racist and Homophobic Comedian sat next to a Newly Wed Virgin holding a Baby Called Keith and eating a Meat Paste sandwich while drinking a pint of Mild? And how long is it since you went to a Tupperware Party attended by a member of the Deferential Working Class, a Football Maverick, Bus Conductor and Streetwise Dog? And have you recently seen anyone sporting a Woollen Balaclava and Shellsuit in a Reliant Robin with a Pools Coupon Collector and Spinster wearing an 18 Hour Girdle in the back? What about a Hitchhiker thumbing a lift from a Scary Biker, a Rebel Teacher and an Unrepentant Politician all on their way to enjoy Hogmanay in England? Or a Martian with a Hitler Moustache having a game of Blow Football while eating Pineapple and Cheese on a Stick and listening to an Ugly String Quartet playing England's World Cup Squad Song? Or how about a Rock Star Planning to Retire, Squatting in a One Screen Cinema, with ...
People call him Buttcrack. He's in his early thirties and he's re-enrolled in high school. The other kids think he's a creepy loser. One day a kid asks him to buy beer for his party and Buttcrack figures this is his chance to fit in. But he loses his wallet and the lady at the liquor store won't sell him booze without an ID. To make things worse, his girlfriend won't help and a group of crazed rednecks keep harassing him. But he's a man on a mission. He's determined to party with teenagers. No matter the cost!
London, Dec. 1985. Newspapers are changing.New technology and increased competition are transforming the industry. Metropolitan newspapers are moving from Fleet Street's narrow alleyways to modern industrial complexes on the edge of town. For Nobby and his down-and-out friends, this is a real threat. Newspapers mean warmth and life. At night, as the next day's editions are printed, hot air is vented out onto the side streets from the rolling presses, providing a vital refuge from the freezing temperatures for those who call the streets home. Who knows more about what happens on the street--vagrants or journalists? When does crusading journalism become gutter press? Who then, better to publish a newspaper than a group of down-and outs? Seen through the eyes of Spencer--a small boy whose assistance is required if the venture is to succeed--Nobby's Diary is a cautionary tale, focusing on trust, power and influence. Oh... and fake news."
This is a digest of small stories and tales that happened in the 50 states of the USA. Every state has a funny story to tell, and in here you can find several of them for each state.
The compilation of facts and trivia was made after research, checking some facts and names, and finding what would interest most people. This is not supposed to be a useful book about every state in the USA, this is intended to be a funny and informative trivia about all the States, including the District of Columbia.
For example, did you know:
The city of Industry in California has a population of 219, but is home to 80,000 jobs.
If Texas was an independent country, it would rank as the world's seventh largest producer of greenhouse gases.
Contrary to popular belief, Washington was not built on a swamp, maybe only 1 percent was built on swamp.
The New York State legislature has a "Bear Mountain Compact", an agreement among legislators to keep extramarital affairs and other embarrassing ...
A very funny collection of true stories.. a catalogue of hormonally induced lies, cunning, deceit and abject stupidity.
example -... he crashed straight through the door and tore off down the road amidst a shower of shattered glass and splintered timber. "I knew straight away it was Blake in the video" recalled Chippy later, "Cos he's got Ayia Napa 2006 tattooed on his arse."
example - "Lauren Cottingham is dating a merchant banker from Morgan Stanley" he continued, "I don't know much about him, but he drives a red Ferrari and plays polo at weekends. By contrast William you deliver pizzas on a moped and play Candy Crush saga at weekends"...
IS YOUR LOVE LIFE IN TATTERS? COULD THIS BE SOME UNSEEN MEDDLING FORCE? COULD THIS BE THE GHOSTS OF CURMUDGEON AVENUE?
The Ghosts of Curmudgeon Avenue goes on to pull the reader into a quirky and zany tales of the previous and new inhabitants of the residence complete with gossip, paranormal activities and ageing musicians. Oh, and did I mention the narrator of the story is the house? This aspect definitely makes the book unique. (Booker T's Farm blog)
The writing style is quirky, funny and engaging. Tracey's Year in Books
The writing is quirky, frenetic, warm, engaging, funny and endearing. It was like coming home to old friends, the moment I started this book. Against The Flow Press
The house on Curmudgeon Avenue should be happy now, the nincompoop residents have all met their sorry ends. But they haven't quite left... now that a new family move in can the house find peace? Or are the ghosts of Curmudgeon Avenue going to interfere with the goings-on, romance and dramas that ...
When Arthur takes a job at a Blue's Doughnuts, he has no idea that his fat, obstinate boss Buford Lafont has a secret: in addition to running a failing bakery, Lafont moonlights as a private investigator and a reluctant expert on the paranormal phenomena that threaten humanity.
Detective Lafont wants little to do with the darker side of his small New England town, but the spirits and powers that lurk in the shadows won't leave him alone. His first case with Arthur at his side starts out as a simple disappearance, but quickly draws them into the realm of occult mathematics and sinister rituals. It will take all of Lafont's skill and cunning if they're to survive the dark truth behind the victim's death and taxes.
The media? The media is a joke! President Trump is doing many, many amazing things in office, and he's always sure to let us know that--but CNN, MSNBC, The New York Times, and The Washington Post don't devote themselves to telling us what Trump is telling us about Trump. Instead, they focus on distributing fake news and ludicrous views. That sums up what most people in the media do, except for those fine folks at Fox News. Aren't they great? And isn't Wolf Blitzer an idiot? He and most other journalists and analysts in the media are anti-Trump propagandists who should be replaced with Trump's Twitter. And no one knows that better than President Donald Trump and political pundit Anderson Jimmerson.
Read this book and learn what makes Trump so tremendous, and what makes the media so much of a joke, and what makes Obama so much like Benedict Arnold, and what makes Hillary such a crooked lunatic.